Congratulations!
It was a big day yesterday. I passed the final oral defense though the process is kind of torture. But, I survived....
It's hard to imagine and explain how tough to finish writing a dissertation. However, it still can be detected from several things. First, I don't remember how many times my sister said to me "Wow, your place is really messy" and I always responded to her "I'll do it when I finish my paper." Next, I don't know when my flowers on the balcony died, but I just know the leaves on the pot were faded and broken. Then, I cannot count how many hairs there were scattering on the floor and on the desk. I only know my hair on my head become sparse. Also, I am even surprised that I am nearsighted again even though I had a surgery before. Moreover, I am a little sad that when my colleague told me that I looked older this year....
However, these are all ordinary things. The most difficult part comes from my mental and psychological scar. I, with a drowning soul, have been searching for a lifeboat during the process whenever I could not figure out the problem of my research.
I especially had few terrible dreams on the last two days before my final oral presentation. Most of them were about the events either I was attacked or failed in doing something. My mom was in my dream and my dad was there, too. I even did not sleep all night on the day after the oral defense just because one said I was too rush to hand in my dissertation. Did I? Two years? Every day? Too rush? Perhaps! It seems common to finish it for five or seven years especially in the field. But, ....
Well, thank you for all your strongly support and help. There is one thing I am sure there is still a lot of room for me to improve myself. I am a sponge, I know.
It's hard to imagine and explain how tough to finish writing a dissertation. However, it still can be detected from several things. First, I don't remember how many times my sister said to me "Wow, your place is really messy" and I always responded to her "I'll do it when I finish my paper." Next, I don't know when my flowers on the balcony died, but I just know the leaves on the pot were faded and broken. Then, I cannot count how many hairs there were scattering on the floor and on the desk. I only know my hair on my head become sparse. Also, I am even surprised that I am nearsighted again even though I had a surgery before. Moreover, I am a little sad that when my colleague told me that I looked older this year....
However, these are all ordinary things. The most difficult part comes from my mental and psychological scar. I, with a drowning soul, have been searching for a lifeboat during the process whenever I could not figure out the problem of my research.
I especially had few terrible dreams on the last two days before my final oral presentation. Most of them were about the events either I was attacked or failed in doing something. My mom was in my dream and my dad was there, too. I even did not sleep all night on the day after the oral defense just because one said I was too rush to hand in my dissertation. Did I? Two years? Every day? Too rush? Perhaps! It seems common to finish it for five or seven years especially in the field. But, ....
Well, thank you for all your strongly support and help. There is one thing I am sure there is still a lot of room for me to improve myself. I am a sponge, I know.
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